The Revenge

2007-08-07T18:44:00.001-07:00

Progenies of the Great Apocalypse...Deconstructed

I was thinking of reviewing Winds' latest release, but I decided that it was too unremarkable to say anything about. After all, Winds is an unremarkable band. No, I thought this time around I might do something a bit different. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of one song. One song that's completely and utterly out of character for me to be listening to. That song is Progenies of the Great Apocalypse, by Dimmu Borgir of Norway. I'm not quite sure what prompted my listening to this song, but I found myself fixated on it. It's inexplicably addictive, for reasons I'm not too sure of.

Dimmu Borgir's presence in black metal has caused sizable controversy over the years. Arguably the most mainstream of all self-proclaimed black metal bands, they've become the marketable alternative to a genre based around the tenets of hating just about everything. Because of this, and because of the constantly decaying quality of their music, they've earned the disdain of millions of fans, all while acquiring the love of others. As it stands, Dimmu Borgir's latest release, In Sorte Diaboli, is hardly black metal, and hardly good music, but that's a story for another day. The topic at hand is Progenies, arguably their most popular song, off of Death Cult Armageddon. What is it that makes this song so popular? Why have I been listening to it ad nauseam for the past two days or so? It needs to be deconstructed. And I'm going to do it.

First thing's first, Progenies offers absolutely nothing on the guitar. Aside from a few galloping power chords, Silenoz has nothing to his name, and I see no reason for the inclusion of Galder in this band. As far as I can tell, there is no lead guitar. Progenies may be the most simplistic song I've ever heard as far as the guitar is concerned. But that's really not the point of the song. Nor has it ever been the point in any black metal, mainstream or not. The point lies in the atmosphere.

Atmosphere finds place in myriad sources. The most obvious in most forms of metal is in the vocals. Vocals can be the deciding factor in a band's genre, and, as I've made it so painstakingly clear in the past, they can make or break a band. They, too, play a huge part in this song. In Progenies, there are three sources to the vocals. Principally, the vocals are presented by Shagrath, but ICS Vortex, too, lends his vocal chords. Interestingly enough, Abbath, of the legendary Immortal, has a guest appearance on Progenies as well. Now, Shagrath has never been known for his world-class vocals. His gurgling vocals, as they are presented cleanly in the beginning of the song, aren't impressive, at all. In order to add depth to his sound, we find that he overdubs himself several times throughout the song. That way, there's range. Certainly, nothing remarkable there. People have been overdubbing vocals since the 40s, and black metal is no stranger to this practice. Vocally, the talent lies within Vortex.

ICS Vortex is an incredible vocalist. His work on Borknagar's Quintessence and Arcturus' The Sham Mirrors is legendary. His voice is strangely hypnotic and eerie. It is Vortex who adds atmosphere where Shagrath falls short. When the time comes for Vortex to stop with the unimaginative bass lines and belt out his all too short, harmonized vocal solo about halfway through the song, the entire thing slows down. Progenies suddenly goes from painfully standard black metal to something much, much more. When the listener sees Vortex standing, meteors falling in the background, signifying the coming Apocalypse, belting out his strangely alluring melodies in the music video, Progenies evolves. Vortex's vocal break is perhaps the single most incredible section of the song.

If I could stop going down on Vortex for just a minute, I'd like to shift focus to the keyboards. Mustis is an excellent keyboardist. He seems to know how to not fill songs with wank, but rather with feeling. The keyboards in Progenies are its backbone, plain and simple. Straight up, you can not make a song based around simple power chord progressions. This is the folly of pop punk. Without the aid of keyboards, Progenies is fucking terrible.

Mustis creates an air of epic feeling throughout the course of the song. It tricks the listener into believing Dimmu Borgir's guitarists have talent. This is no easy feat. The symphonic interlude to this song is brilliant, I'm going to say it. With Shagrath's growl-like whispers over them, it steps this song up a notch. Without any shadow of a doubt, the keyboards in this song keep it being absolutely horrendous.

This is the section where I talk about bass. Bass is superfluous. Vortex might as well be playing a tennis racket in this song. That's all I have to say.

And finally, we arrive upon the drums. I have huge respect for Nick Barker for the following reason: he's the only person in the band to not have adopted a seriously retarded pseudonym. Aside from that, I guess he's pretty good at drumming. Barker's got some serious skill when it comes to blast beats. He's insanely fast. Unfortunately, he utilizes none of this skill in Progenies. Still, the drums are very solid, and compliment the song nicely.

To recap, I'm still not sure why I like this song so much, but am completely unimpressed with the rest of Dimmu Borgir's discography. When broken down, one can see that Progenies really isn't that great musically. The keyboards and symphonic elements are expertly composed and Vortex is spectacular, as always, but other than that, this song is conspicuously unremarkable. It is the presence of Mustis and Vortex in Dimmu Borgir that keeps them from sucking. Progenies is only as great as it is due to their input.

I made this post for no particular reason other than that I needed to think about this song and its allure and record it somehow. To any and all tr00, grim, kvltists that only listen to Manes and Shining, fuck off. I'm quite aware that you think Dimmu Borgir forfeited their title of black metal once they started selling albums and having fans, I don't need to hear it from you.

2007-07-20T19:08:00.001-07:00

Scars of Chaos - Humanitarian War Machine (2007)

This is a very interesting album. Scars of Chaos is a French symphonic black metal band. Now, as it should be pretty clear at this point, black metal in general doesn't interest me to a rather high degree. This, however, is rather refreshing, for whatever reason.

I believe this is Scars of Chaos' fourth third studio album. I haven't bothered to check out the others, but if they're at all like this one, I may just do that. Think of Vesperian Sorrow with heavier symphonic influences and you have Scars of Chaos. The vocals are very similar, as well as the instrumentation. I have to admit, though, I was a bit hesitant when I first looked at the name of this band. Generally, bands with the word "scar" in the name can be immediately dubbed as crap and mocked accordingly. (See: Scar Symmetry). Also, with such heinously moronic pseudonyms as DarkOne and Evil Tongue, I wasn't all that ready for anything impressive, but rather for some sickening Cradle of Filth bastardization.

I was certainly surprised. What I got was something like Stormblåst era Dimmu Borgir. You know, before they started writing songs that sucked? You remember that, don't you? Anyway, this is very much in that vein. The guitar parts are dominated by the ever-typical black metal tremolo picking style, but it's done enjoyably. I think the most drawing part of this album would probably be the symphonic aspects, which are complimented by the vocals, though. Bear with me, here. I'm going to have to use the band members' incredibly stupid pseudonyms, because I can't seem to find their real names.

A New Era of Light starts off with a keyboard generated symphonic line, which immediately transitions into a hugely chaotic assault of sound. Evil Tongue's retarded name does his vocals no justice. He seems to have mastered the black metal sound. He goes from high pitched screeches quickly to low, guttural grunts at the correct times; a feat largely unexplored in most forms of black metal, even by its supposed pioneers. This man has talent. His vocals certainly add an extra feel of power to the songs.

As stated before, the keyboard work on this album is very well done. Angelus, as he wishes to be called, creates a very dark atmosphere with his orchestrations, which I believe is the feel they were going for. The most notable pieces on the album would be the introduction to A New Era of Light, the interlude in Funeral For a World, and the introduction to Darker Than Hell. However, the keyboards are omnipresent throughout the entire album, constantly creating a moody contrast to the otherwise chaotic guitar parts.

This album is just very well put together. They manage to make their slower introductions tasteful and maintain their raw and ferocious black metal edge. For my favorite song, I would pick Son Excellence de la Douleur. It most accurately depicts the pure range of sound that this album has to offer. Quality symphonic black metal from an unexpected source. One thing, though. Scars of Chaos, change your fucking names. You look like idiots.

8/10

2007-07-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

You'll notice that I'm going to now rate albums on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, 1 being the lowest. That way you'll actually know what I think of things, rather than simply attempting to guess from my vague and confusing reviews.

2007-07-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Turisas - The Varangian Way (2007)

Finland won't relent. They have the folk metal genre completely dominated. Turisas has been around since roughly 1997, but have only released two albums, Battle Metal and The Varangian Way. The Varangian Way is their newest and, in my humble opinion, finest album.

People seem to have that "I hate new music" complex with Turisas. Battle Metal receives far too much praise, honestly. It's undoubtedly a fine album, but it's production quality is incredibly lacking, and production is critical in this sort of music. One honestly cannot create a feel of epic battle with a cheap keyboard and lacking guitar power. That all changed.

The Varangian Way is refreshing. The guitars are crisp, the keyboards are excellent, and I feel as if they're putting far more thought into their songs. Granted, there's not much difference in the tracks on this album, but they're creative, nonetheless. An example of said creativity would be best shown in the case of In The Court Of Jarisleif. The song is just brilliant. Incredibly folky and fun. In The Court Of Jarisleif is one of the most intelligent folk metal songs I've ever heard. That's saying something, too. Because folk metal is a pretty stupid genre. When you're listening to it, you feel as if you're right in the middle of some sort of brawl.

As for my two favorite songs aside from In The Court Of Jarisleif, I'd say and The Dnieper Rapids and Miklagard Overture stand out the most. The former is just really fun to listen to. At times, it gets a little bit tedious, but it quickly picks up. The settings chorus sections immediately exonerate the band for any boring fillers they have. Excellent. The latter is the relative epic of the album. In terms of folk metal, its 8:18 length is rather lacking, but it, again, makes up for this in sheer rockage. Mathias Nygård shows that he's not just a yelling idiot like so many of his contemporaries. Amazingly enough, he can actually sing. Incredible!

All in all, this is a moderately solid release. Turisas is a great folk metal band, but the genre is quickly stagnating. The bands are running out of Norse mythology to sing about and the well of catchy, melodic keyboard lines is running dry. Because of this, nothing that Turisas will ever do will ever be all too outstanding, but rather very solid in the scheme of folk metal. I'd recommend The Varangian Way, regardless, because it is very fun.

7.5/10

2007-07-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

Circus Maximus - Isolate (2007)

I was waiting for something to force me to actually write in this again, and here it is. Circus Maximus is back with their second album entitled Isolate to follow up their acclaimed first release The 1st Chapter. I'm going to explain just what it is that Circus Maximus is all about.

This band isn't reinventing progressive metal. In fact, they're really not bringing anything new to the table, at all. What they do do, however, is take the best aspects of already established, talented bands and combine them into a tweaked, refined version of their own. If Symphony X and Dream Theater were to combine sounds, you'd get Circus Maximus. And, in that sense, they're breathing life into a genre full of ever-expanding crap.

Technical music is becoming incredibly popular. Because of that, tons of bands are emulating Necrophagist in a never-ending quest for record sales. It seems as though Circus Maximus may have stumbled onto the secret of creating progressive metal without the aid of overzealous, pointless guitar masturbation.

Surprisingly enough, I never wrote a review about this band's first release, The 1st Chapter. Long story short, it's brilliant. It may be the best debut album of any band I've ever heard, save Savage Circus' Dreamland Manor. It has reached critical acclaim amongst the progressive metal community since its release in 2005. With vocals borrowed from bands like Rush, and instrumentals borrowed from bands like Kamelot, Symphony X, and Dream Theater, Circus Maximus continues to impress with Isolate, a feat many thought would be impossible.

Upon initial listening, I was not all that impressed with this album. It wasn't bad, sure, but it didn't have the hooking power of the first release. Then, as I listened to it a bit more, something seemed to have clicked. It was at this point that I recalled my first listening to The 1st Chapter. I had written off the band as another struggling, copycat progressive band. Only after having listened to the album several times did I begin to see it for what it was. Sure enough, Isolate seems to follow the same trend.

During the recording of this new album, the band's keyboardist, Espen Storø, left the band to be replaced shortly after by Lasse Finbråten. One wouldn't be able to tell the difference, had they not known about the change. I applaud Circus Maximus on an excellent choice of a new keyboardist. With that said, I'll divulge some information on a few of the tracks off the album.

The album starts off with A Darkened Mind, which is follows a rather typical progressive formula of a few bridges and choruses that break into a keyboard/guitar interlude which then comes back into another chorus. But, in its predictability, however, A Darkened Mind manages to start the listener off quite well. The chorus is catchy and fun, which offers interesting transition into Abyss.

I'm not going to lie and say Abyss' lyrics aren't totally gay, because they are. Obviously, there are very dark undertones to this song, but I feel as if they may have gone a little overboard with the references to slashed wrists and leaping into some sort of abyss. The thing about this song is that, if you're not listening to the lyrics, you wouldn't be able to tell that it's got darker themes to it. Michael Eriksen's high pitched falsettos make it very hard to envision what they're attempting to communicate, but if you listen, you won't miss it. Anywho, this song is rather awesome, lame vocals aside. The guitar work about 3/4 in is flawless. I very much enjoy it.

Wither seems to be the most popular of the album, which perplexes me. It's the song they released on their Myspace before the album actually came out. As I stated, this is strange, as I feel Wither is probably the weakest song on the album. It's understandable, though, because it's the most radio friendly. I have nothing else to say. Rather weak song, obviously driven by the desire to reach a new audience.

Sane To More is spectacular. Much like Biosfear, off The 1st Chapter, it's completely instrumental and full of epically progressive goodness. I've listened to this song far too many times. It really showcases the new keyboardists obvious talents. Very, very good.

In the interest of keeping this review enjoyable and not tedious, I'll cut it at that. There are 5 more songs on the album, and each of them is very impressive.

My criticism is as follows. Isolate is vocally and instrumentally identical to The 1st Chapter. There is no new ground covered. Whether this is good or not is up to the listener, but I feel as though they could have shifted a bit. Hell, at least Adagio has been experimenting with heavier vocals. It's not really all that bad, because they have a style that rocks and they're good at reproducing it while keeping it fresh. I'm looking forward to their evolving a bit with their next release, though.

All in all, very impressive album. I'll be sure to purchase it when it comes out some time in August.

9.5/10

2007-05-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

Sun Caged - Artemisia (2007)

I think this blog may be shifting to nothing but reviews of new music. Lord knows there's enough of it coming out that I can do that. That way, I'm not harping on things that people already know, but rather providing insight for things others possibly don't.

Sun Caged is progressive metal from the Netherlands and this is their second album to date entitled Artemisia. Now, it's really nothing out of this world. Sun Caged has always seemed a little bit bland to me. The problem with Sun Caged is that they should be an instrumental band, but aren't. I always find myself liking their instrumental tracks a lot, but being bored with their songs that have vocals. It may have something to do with Villarreal's complete inability to put any sort of feeling into his vocals, but who knows.

With that said, the instrumental tracks on this album are damn impressive. In fact, my only gripe is the vocals. This is a great album until the vocals come in and I get put to sleep. For instance, Engelbert the Inchworm is a great song because it contains no lyrics and some awesome progressive wankage. Bloodline is awesome until they decide to break off from awesomeness and go for some The Police-esque vocals that really do make me want to cringe.

What does this mean? Progressive metal really does completely rely on the singer. I can't remember how many times I've enjoyed a song or two only to have it ruined by a sub par singer. These vocals really aren't completely intolerable. They have their place; it's just not a place of greatness. Once I adjust myself to them, they're really not too terrible. But there's really just no reason to listen to them when Russell Allen exists.

With this criticism aside, the guitar isn't too shabby. Marcel Coenen is a formidable guitarist. In fact, check out this video with Marcel and Bob Katsionis melting face. There are some great solo breaks on this album that are incredibly enjoyable. It's very solid in that sense. Marcel and Rene Kroon really know how to harmonize with each other. The other issue, however, is that the drums are a little weak.

To summarize, this is moderately entertaining progressive metal. Marcel does a fine, fine job, but the rest of the album is rather lacking. It's okay for casual listens, but it's really not something I'd go out of my way to recommend to someone. Good luck.

5/10

2007-05-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'd have something to talk about here if I wasn't still obsessing over Paradise Lost.

2007-05-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

Symphony X - Paradise Lost (2007)

This is the best album of 2007. In fact, this is the best album of the 21st century. As far as I'm concerned, only two albums can hold a candle to this as far as 2007 releases go. Circus Maximus' new album and Adagio's Archangels in Black might compete with this, but there's absolutely no way they'll outdo it. I'm so glad I can depend on Symphony X to never suck, because Kamelot's last album really made me reevaluate American music.

Symphony X is an American power / progressive metal band from New Jersey. As it stands, they represent the finest in modern progressive metal. Along with Circus Maximus and Andromeda, Symphony X remain the kings of the genre. But what sets them apart from everything else right now? Symphony X is only improving with age.

Andromeda's latest 2006 release entitled Chimera didn't measure up to Extension of the Wish in any sense imaginable. After only two albums, they seem to be fizzling out. Kamelot has fallen victim to the ever present dumbing down of American music. Circus Maximus offers a welcome and refreshing outlook for the power / progressive metal genre. Their 2005 release entitled The 1st Chapter was brilliance. One can only hope that their upcoming album will reproduce its genius. As I stated, Adagio is a major contender as well. They have been extremely consistent. I am extremely intrigued by Archangels in Black. These bands have only popped up in the past couple of years, however. Symphony X has been dominating the genre since 1994.

Dream Theater, in their heyday, monopolized progressive metal. It's become increasingly obvious that they're no longer on top of their game. Octavarium was less than desirable and Constant Motion, their new single, left me wondering why they felt they needed to rip off 80s Metallica. At Symphony X's inception, they were destined for glory.

Michael Romeo really is a genius. As the major songwriter for Symphony X, most of their material has stemmed from his design. What we've gotten from this is seven full length albums, each of them better than the last. As a guitarist, Romeo writes some of the best neo-classical guitar work I've ever listened to. Pinnella compliments him in a fashion that leaves me speechless. But what I actually first noticed about this album were the vocals.

There are really only two vocalists that are so good at what they do that they make me forget they're actually vocals, and not a separate instrument. These two vocalists are Russell Allen and Hansi Kursch. Allen's vocals seem to be empowered on this album. Previously, his vocals were absolutely stunning. This effort, however, has brought forth new styling. Allen seems to have taken a heavier approach with this album. He actually sings closer to a growl than the the usual power and progressive metal falsetto. It works perfectly. Absolutely perfectly.

There are subtle hints to earlier work all throughout this album. The title track, Paradise Lost, is heavily influenced by The Accolade, off of their 1997 release The Divine Wings of Tragedy. It also contains what I find to be the most hypnotizing and awesome chorus ever. The final track, Revelation (Divus Pennae ex Tragoedia), too, fades out with the main tune to The Odyssey, the title track of their 2002 release. Excellence.

Really, I can't comment on this album. I'll just say that it's brilliant. One criticism, however. I would have liked for there to have been a 20+ minute song on it. The sheer quality of the songs here makes up for it and then some, though. I'll be purchasing this album when it comes out, for sure. Words cannot explain how much I am looking forward to seeing this band at the end of this month.

Listen to this album. Listen to it for the rest of your life.

10/10

2007-05-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

Kamelot - Ghost Opera (2007)

Is there a reason you did this to me, Kamelot? I couldn't find the artwork for their upcoming album because it's still not released, but I put up a picture of their new new DVD. Anyway, Kamelot is an American progressive / power metal band that has, up until now, rocked incredibly hard. Now, I can deal with lack of creativity to a certain extent, but what the fuck?

Their last album, The Black Halo, which was released in 2005, was freaking spectacular. Like, it was awesome. This... what the hell is this? I understand what they were trying to do, but they screwed it up like nobody's business. Everybody liked The Black Halo because, frankly, it was brilliant. So, they wanted to make an album like it, which is understandable. This album follows the sound of The Black Halo, but there is a major, glaring difference; this album is lame.

Think of Ghost Opera as The Black Halo's retarded cousin. Ghost Opera sorta looks like The Black Halo and sorta acts like him, too. But Ghost Opera also talks to grasshoppers and licks cement. There is no driving power behind this effort. It's still polished and pretty sounding, but it's basically just a series of poorly executed ballads.

Now that I'm done being a bastard, I'm going to explain just why I don't like this album. I'm going to be honest, the actual song Ghost Opera is fucking great. I heard it a few weeks ago and loved it and was eager to hear the rest of the album. Then the rest of the album leaked and I wanted to stick my finger in a electrical socket. Think of the song Abandoned off of The Black Halo, but dumbed down about 60 times. That's basically what the rest of the album is. Don't get me wrong, Abandoned is an awesome song. I'm not averse to ballads. When they're done right, they're great. These are just lame. We get it, Kahn, you can sing pretty well. I want more progressive wank. The songs Memento Mori and The March of Mephisto off of The Black Halo were like ear porn, this stuff is just...blah.

It's a very slow album. I can dig slow stuff, but it's drudgingly slow in the sense that it becomes tedious to listen to. It's also become dreadfully poppy. They were teetering on the edge of this poppy sound with The Black Halo, and they leaped off of it with this album.

I guess I'm just severely disappointed. Their previous work, namely The Fourth Legacy and The Black Halo was great. This is just an all around weak release. It's not progressive anymore, and it's barely even power metal. I'd go as far as calling this album straight up pop rock. For shame, Kamelot, for shame.

2/10

2007-04-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Devin Townsend - Ziltoid The Omniscient (2007)

I've never gone on record as being the biggest fan of anything Devin Townsend's really done outside of his guest appearance on Ayreon's The Human Equation. Strapping Young Lad is fun for like, three minutes while I'm driving around really fast. I do, however, quite like Terria. Anyway, this album is quite different, yet similar to his other works. I love the subject matter he's chosen here. The album cover is also fucking awesome. Not to mention, the music is pretty radical.

This album is a concept album, so I guess I'll outline the story it follows. Ziltoid the Omniscient and his brutal race of Ziltoidians travel from a distant omniverse to our universe to demand Earth's ultimate cup of black coffee. When presented with said coffee, Ziltoid is enraged at its fetid nature and proclaims that the Earthlings are hiding their most fantastic bean. In response to this insult, Ziltoid launches a full-scale Ziltoidian assault on Earth. With their futuristic space-man might, the Ziltoidians easily conquer the planet and Ziltoid is hailed the ultimate fourth dimensional guitar hero.

However, Captain Spectacular plans to rain on Ziltoid's parade by exposing him for what he truly is; a nerd. In front of the surviving humans, Captain Spectacular gives his good word that Ziltoid must pay. Upon hearing of Captain Spectacular and the remaining humans' plans to go to the benevolent Nebulo 9, he follows them closely on his radar. Shortly after, Captain Spectacular jumps to hyperdrive, to which Ziltoid responds angrily with "Phooey!".

Captain Spectacular and his intrepid crew arrive at Nebulo 9, but are ambushed by Ziltoid in a surprise attack. A great battle ensues and Ziltoid is defeated. At the end, he exclaims furiously that "You have not seen the last of Ziltoid!". Defeated and ashamed, Ziltoid feels it's time to have a little fun and destroy a planet. He diverts all the power to his ship's front guns and attempts to summon the sixth dimensional planet smasher. The awakened planet smasher is infuriated by Ziltoid's request and the people of the selected planet plead helplessly with Ziltoid.

Ziltoid is ultimately rejected by the planet smasher. Afterward, he seeks the council of the omnidimensional creator. When the omnidimensional creator asks Ziltoid what's on his mind, he responds "modular forms and elliptic curves, infinite fire revolving around infinite parallels, fractals of infinite reality, each cascading and gliding in an infinite wheel". He then demands that the omnidimensional creator tell him the true nature of his reality. The omnidimensional creator tells Ziltoid to chill out.

So, Ziltoid does chill out. He decides he doesn't really want to destroy the Earth. He just wants to play guitar and get chicks. So, he does. I think.

That's what I gathered. I think it's pretty accurate up until the last parts. Anyway, if that story isn't gonna make you listen to this album, then you probably lack the proper gland for sensing awesome shit. Aside from that fucking great story line, the music is damned entertaining, too.

It's fun stuff. It's not really complicated or overtly fancy. It's just really, really fun. I love listening to this album and so should you. I don't think it's out for a while, but when it is, I will totally buy it.

8/10

2007-04-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

What the fuck? 2 Parter of Justice

So I decided this would be a good time to discuss my confusion and frustration regarding a few bands. Well, two bands in particular. Now, don't get me wrong here. I'm not insinuating that there are only two bands that have fucked up something great. There's a slew of them. Namely Arcturus, Metallica, Infected Malignity, and Dream Theater. But, two bands have released two very disturbingly bad albums in the last year or so. So, I ask, what the fuck, Rhapsody and David Valdes? What the fuck.

Rhapsody (of Fire?) - Triumph or Agony (2006)

Agony, Luca, agony. This album sucks. So, when they changed their name I didn't think too much of it. I trusted them as musicians to not fuck up their sound along with it. Although, I still refuse to actually refer to the as Rhapsody of Fire, because people that call them that are gay. I think when the band made this album, they were literally asking themselves whether or not they'd be triumphant or put their fans in a state of agony. Because, seriously, this album is terrible.

There's nothing to this album. Like, I can listen to it, but why do it? There's no reason to. The choruses aren't epic, the keyboards are just sorta there. Luca's voice seems to have completely lost its umph. Even the solos are poorly executed. What used to be super powerful is now a little line of "my first guitar" wank.

Overall, it just feels like this album got thrown together. Looks like they were sitting there, all emasculated with their new name, and decided to slap something together as fast as they could and pass it off as a Rhapsody album. Well, this isn't a Rhapsody album. This is a Rhapsody of Fire album, and it clearly shows. Maybe someday, after a billion listens, I can come to find something positive to say about this album, but the probability is highly unlikely when I have Symphony of Enchanted Lands just sitting here being all not shitty and whatnot.

3/10

David Valdes - Imhotep (2007)

If you've been reading this blog, which you haven't, you'd remember from a month back or so when I went nuts over this man's first album. Well, David's back. Only this time, he's got a swanky album cover and no creativity.

This album yells to the listener "I ran out of ideas!". There's very little shred on this album at all, and when there is, it's lame and played out. Whenever he's doing something, it's something he did on Paradise Lost. At least on that album, his ideas were fresh and catchy. This is just more thoughtless wank.

Now, look, I am a fan of thoughtless wank. This album isn't terrible, it's just not what I would have expected from David. You'd think that in 6 years he'd have some time to think up stuff that doesn't suck. I mean, Christ, Buckethead comes out with a new album every 3 months and they all rock hard. This is very, very bland neo-classical shred. There's too much stress on riffage that can't hold its own without solos. The only person that can pull of riffage in shred is Chris Impellitteri, as far as I'm concerned. If you want to make shred, please shred.

There are some tracks that are pretty killer on this album, I'm really not going to lie. Lake of Silence is pretty cool. But, still, this album is abundantly weak. It has to do mostly with my high hopes that were smashed by mediocrity. Oh well.

4.5/10

2007-04-04T14:52:00.000-07:00

Shaolin Death Squad - Intelligent Design (2006)

This is a very interesting CD. I wouldn't really call it metal and I wouldn't really call it rock. It does have occasional blast beats and the vocals do occasionally get very harsh. But it still doesn't have a galloping beat, which is characteristic of the more avant-garde. These guys are very, very strange. I like them all the same, though.

Shaolin Death Squad is from Texas, I believe. I'm not going to lie and say they don't look like jackasses. But hey, pretty much everyone in metal looks and acts like an idiot, so that shouldn't be an issue. Anyway, this is their latest release, which was actually released last year.

I can't categorize this album. It most closely correlates with more avant-garde bands, though. Think Arcturus mixed with Estradasphere, only with way less of a classical influence. This was actually recommended to me like, a few months ago. I never really listened to it until the past few days, though. I'll get to actually talking about music now, I suppose.

Each song off this album follows a sort of sound. It's hard to put my finger on, but it's not like every song is different. My favorite off the album would probably be A Terrible Way To Use a Sword just because it's fun to listen to. I'm also rather fond of The Face Insecurity Killed. The former is a bit heavier, the latter is more mellow. They compliment each other nicely. A Terrible Way To Use a Sword has a pretty catchy bridge accompanied with a blast beat. In fact, the whole song's pretty damn catchy. Radio Feeler probably deserves mention, too, but it really didn't do as much for me as the others.

The thing about this album that strikes me is that it isn't "look what I can do" avant-garde. It's a fun little CD, it's not like you have to sit down and stroke your chin for hours in pensive thought. It's a nice change from what I usually waste time listening to. Surprise, surprise, no pretentious, artsy crap this time around. Look out, though, I'm downloading a Ved Buens Ende CD.

The vocals aren't soaring and falsetto..ey, either. They're modest; nothing spectacular. The interlude parts in A Terrible Way To Use a Sword are pretty damn cool, too. They've got the gruff vocals down pretty well. So, I guess this CD isn't really spectacular. It's just, there. I like it just fine. If you want some catchy, fun, sometimes weird stuff, check these dudes out.

7/10

2007-03-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

Emperor - Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk (1997)

This is the best black metal album ever created. Now, I do not claim to be an expert on black metal in any sense at all, but I still make this statement. I'm sure there are thousands of people that will agree with me on this, as well. Emperor is a band that needs absolutely no introduction; their name is synonymous with symphonic black metal. They are the greatest driving force behind the second wave of black metal. This is their masterpiece, Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk.

As I've explicitly stated on several occasions, raw black metal annoys me to no end. It genuinely infuriates me. I loathe Varg Vikernes, not only because of his horrible outlook, but for his terrible music that millions seem to love religiously. Have you ever been to burzum.com? If you're looking for a laugh, read Varg's account of what happened with Euronymous. Apparently, Varg was just walking around the man's apartment waiting to talk to him and was assaulted! Thank God he produced that pocket knife! My point here is that Varg Vikernes is not only a moron, but he also paved the way for some of the shittiest music in existence.

Emperor is not raw, nor is it full of preachy National Socialist messages. On a side note, National Socialist Black Metal is the stupidest thing ever. Anyway, Emperor are extremely tasteful. I'm a big fan of In the Nightside Eclipse as well, but I find that this album just has more consistency. All of their songs are not constant blast beats and cringe-worthy vocals. There are breaks from the standards of black metal. The greatest example of this would be the song Opus a Satana, which is completely symphonic. It's really, really excellent.

Each song provides an excellent look into what black metal really should be. The highlights of the album are most definitely Ye Entrancemperium and Thus Spake the Nightspirit. Both of those songs embodies what so many other black metal bands have failed to do. They retain their ferocity, but are able to fit in tasteful, melodic interludes.

The use of keyboards on this album is extremely intriguing. They're not completely overbearing to a point where they're annoying. They're in there for ambiance, not for wankery. They add emphasis to powerful notes. When a certain song slows down, they hold the background together. I think they're excellently done.

With all this being said, I greatly recommend this album. I'm still debating whether or not to see Emperor. I don't think tickets are still even available, but it's extremely possible that, if they are, I may be going. This is a fine, fine band and a fine, fine album.

8/10

2007-03-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Moonsorrow - V: Havitetty (2007)

This year is looking extremely bright for metal, folk metal especially. In 2007, several pivotal folk metal bands have already released new albums or will be releasing them. The notable ones are Equilibrium, Ensiferum, Eluveitie, Korplikaani, Finntroll, Vintersorg, and Moonsorrow. There are so many more, but those are the ones I really care about.

This brings us to Moonsorrow, an already extremely established folk / viking metal band based out of Helsinki, Finland. They're just another testament to the dominance of Finland in modern metal. This is their newest album, entitled V: Havitetty.

To start this off, this album only has two songs on it. The first, entitled Jäästä Syntynyt / Varjojen Virta, comes in at 30:10. I'm not going to pretend I know what that means. All I know is that there are no vowels in the second word, and that is both frightening and confusing. The second song, Tuleen Ajettu Maa, is a lowly 26:19. Each of these songs is utterly mind blowing. Because of their extremely long length, they make for some of the most epic pieces of music I've ever listened to.

Jäästä Syntynyt / Varjojen Virta starts off with the faint sounds of wind blowing through a forest. This, while cool, is not very original in the case of folk metal. Anyway, it still sounds badass. About four minutes in, a solitary bass line comes in, which is then accompanied by an orchestral keyboard background. Eventually, this is joined by a light electric guitar lead, which is then accompanied by acoustic guitar. After a while, this is accompanied by Finnish chanting. If I were to dissect the direction this song takes entirely, it would undoubtedly take up several paragraphs. There are so many tempo changes and shifts in vocal patterns and variable distortion. It goes from light acoustic folk music to an onslaught of aggression with blast beats and gritty, foreboding vocals. Just as it seems to pick up, it comes into a single bass line, which then goes back into an emotionally charged distorted buildup. There's not much else to say about this song than that it's epic.

Tuleen Ajettu Maa is the stronger of the two songs, I believe. It starts out with the sound of a burning fire and comes into a Celtic style folk song predominantly chanting. Just as with the other song, it builds into an epic piece of mind-blowing intensity. By the last eight minutes of this song, it even comes into an orchestral piece. It's simply stunning.

When it comes to growls, I can only enjoy ones that are done tastefully and masterfully. When they're done poorly, I will completely abandon a band and most probably delete their album. As a fan of clean falsettos, I do not tolerate crap when it comes to coarse, guttural vocals. Ville Sorvali knows what he's doing. These are some of the most tastefully done coarse vocals I've ever heard. They also don't appear to be heavily enhanced, which is the only downfall of bands like Equilibrium. I was very impressed.

The guitar tone is very crisp and refined. This album is extremely well produced. I think the idea of having two very long, very epic songs on one album is very original. In fact, I think they should have just combined the two songs into one and attempted to put Sleep's Dopesmoker to shame. While we're on the subject, I would like to express my utter confusion as to why people enjoy Sleep. They do what their band name suggests; put me to sleep. Bah.

Anyway, this album rules. If you're impatient, go download some Excrementory Grindfuckers. Their mindless 20 second songs will be sure to give you the quick thrills you're looking for. If you want to sit down for a while and really take the time to enjoy some the most epic music ever, get V: Havitetty.

7/10

2007-03-06T15:51:00.000-08:00

Sungate - Neverending Silence of Pompee (2001)

I suppose if I were to be asked what my definition of an underground band it, I'd just give the person the name Sungate. With the internet the way it is nowadays, underground as a musical term is outdated and completely meaningless. You can find anything through the use of the internet. There are no rocks left unturned. But...if I were to have to give my idea of an "underground" band that doesn't blow, I'd go with Sungate.

I was just introduced to this band like 2 days ago. Already I am having trouble not listening to them. Sungate is not very easy to define as a band. They're Slovakian and they call themselves experimental gothic doom metal. I suppose that's about as close as anyone's going to get. They're completely instrumental and have a very indescribably awesome sound. I'm really trying to get more information on them, but it's really hard seeing as their entire website is in Slovak. What makes this album so remarkable is that it was entirely self-produced and self-distributed. Sungate has no label and therefore there is no hindrance of their creativity. Whatever this band is producing is coming from what they desired to create as musicians, not from the interests of some corporate label.

With all of this aside, I can still confidently say this album is spectacular. It's very epic, but it maintains a certain melancholy undertone that I find very interesting. Alot of the tracks are begun with acoustic guitar and enter in with what I believe is a cello with a synthesizer used for ambiance. On most of the tracks, there is an ever triumphant guitar line that is emphatically backed by a powerful keyboard line. What's created is very, very epic. It's almost reminiscent of Powerglove, but without the whole video game thing.

This album is obviously rooted firmly in medieval styling. Most people struggle with finding meaning in instrumental music. I don't quite understand why. Most instrumental music is instrumental for a reason. Either their singer sucks or they're trying to communicate a point in a more subtle manner. You can still retain messages and emotions from music with no lyrics, people. That's why classical music is far superior to most other forms of music.

This band is gracious enough to share its album Neverending Silence of Pompee completely free with anyone that wants to hear it at their official website. Just right click the tracks and save-as. This is what I like to see. Free expression of music is what we need. Profit ruins bands.

Anyway, this album and this band is absolutely great. I wish I could find their other album. Go get their stuff immediately.

7/10

2007-02-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

Vitalij Kuprij - Glacial Inferno (2007)

If you're like me, you're wondering what the hell it is you just read. Here's Mr. Kuprij's name, spelled phonetically.

Vit-tal-ee Koop-ree.

Fantastic. On to the description. Vitalij is a Ukrainian keyboard virtuoso. As far as I'm concerned, he's the best of the ones I've heard. To be fair, I've only really heard Derek Sherinian and Bob Katsionis and Jordan Rudess. Derek's music features far too much work from people that suck, like Zakk Wylde. Actually, just Zakk Wylde. Zakk Wylde should be permanently muted via shotgun shell to the trachea. He needs to stick to pinch harmonic soaked, poorly executed guitar solos that his lame fans seem to like so much, not ruining Derek Sherinian's music. Anywho, Bob's a formidable opponent, seeing as Turn Of My Century destroys so hard, but I think in terms of variety, consistency, and general catalog size, Vitalij has him beat.

This is Vitalij's newest and, in my opinion, best album. It seems like his most progressive album so far. His earlier work was geared more towards neo-classicism, which was awesome in itself. He's also got complete classical piano albums which I still need to get. Anyway, this album is still very much in the style of neo-classical guitar and piano, but much more epic and progressive than his earlier material. If there's two things I'm a sucker for, it's neo-classical and epic music, so I fell for this album, hard.

I don't really know what to say about this album other than every single song pwns hardcore. Literally every song is flawless. I've said this before, but I guess I've never really meant it, because every song on this CD couldn't be improved. The time signatures are all screwy, the guitar and keyboard meshes like magic, and it just rules.

I'm going to cut this short and just say this album is great. Go get it.

8/10

2007-02-12T12:57:00.000-08:00

David Valdes - Paradise Lost (2002)

This album is bootleg as fuck. From the looks of it, David went in with MS Paint and cropped himself into the front of a picture of a lightning bolt and haphazardly pasted his name in a standard Old English font. This is deceiving. You'd honestly expect some poorly produced crap from the looks of this album, would you not? This is not the case. David Valdes' Paradise Lost kicks spectacular ass.

David Valdes is from Spain and plays blindingly cool neo-classical shred. I believe he also played on a Jason Becker tribute album a little while back. He has a song entitled Cacophony on this album, which very well might be an homage to both Marty and Jason. Anyway, I haven't seen much else from David except for this album, which leads me to believe Paradise Lost is his only release. This is kind of disappointing, because Paradise Lost is god damned phenomenal.

I'm not fucking around when I say this album rivals Perpetual Burn or The Dark Chapter in terms of awesomeness in the genre of neo-classical. David's tone is spectacular and everything he plays is extremely clean. He hits every note perfectly. I'm not quite sure if he used a drum machine or anything like that, because the drums sound incredibly life-like. I can't get much information on David off of Google, because there are apparently alot of people named David Valdes, most of whom don't melt face with guitar solos.

David is on YouTube and he showcases every song on the album flawlessly live. You can check those songs out here. All of his sweeps are flawless, all of this picking is pristine. I downloaded this album sometime over the summer and shortly after, the upload link ceased to exist and there is no trace of this album anywhere. Nevertheless, David is an extremely formidable shredder. I think the highlights of this album would probably be found in Fall Angel and Paradise Lost. They showcase blindingly fast fret work and awesome breakdowns. No, not hardcore breakdowns. He doesn't play an E Minor chord over and over again. Sorry.

I think it's the goal over every shredder, whether they take a more bluesy approach or a more classically influenced one, to make the listener forget they're listening to music without lyrics. This album accomplishes this. David's playing almost seems to become singing at parts, and that is what I find to be remarkable about this album. Anyone interested in classically influenced shred guitar should definitely check it out.

8.5/10

2007-02-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

Kadenzza - The Second Renaissance (2005)

This is such a good album. I've had it for a while now and I probably should have reviewed it before this point. So, here's a bit of an overview of what exactly Kadenzza is, for those that don't know.

Kadenzza is a one man band, spearheaded by You Oshima from Japan. He calls it "Grand Orchestral Kamikaze Metal". I guess this is an interesting way to go about categorizing this band, as it's a little bit difficult to specifically pinpoint what exactly Oshima does with this band. If I really had to categorize Kadenzza, I would probably go with something along the lines of symphonic avant garde / black metal.

Part of the appeal of this album is the astounding idea that it was created by one guy. He's not only proficient in guitar, vocals, and synthesizers, but also at programming and apparently, the theremin. The theremin just might be the most awesome instrument ever, so that alone gains You Oshima a million bonus points. I would also like to know what the hell kind of drum machine Oshima used for this album, because it sounds like a damn studio drummer. It might be the most lifelike drum machine I've heard. I'm actually going to try to score an interview with him. From what I hear, though, he's not too great at speaking English. And, I'm not too great at speaking Japanese, so hopes shan't be gotten up. No sir, they shan't.

Anyway, this album is eerie. The lyrics Oshima chooses are extremely cryptic. He follows the story of Little Red Riding Hood throughout the course of the album, putting his own spins on it. He doesn't omit the true details of the story, like the wolf killing an dismembering the little girl's mother. After the wolf accomplishes this, he tricks the girl into eating her own mother's flesh and drinking her blood. Afterward, we are to understand the wolf also kills and picks apart the little girl, as he finishes the album with two voices conversing, claiming the girl is to "enter the dark woods" and that "her grandmother was waiting". The narratives are told from the voice of a little girl. Another strangely prevalent sound effect Oshima uses on a few songs are the faint sounds of young children laughing and the almost inaudible sound of a cradle lullaby. Through the use of these things, Oshima really creates psychologically disturbing songs that are only strengthened by his outlandish vocals.

Oshima's harsh vocals are unlike any I've ever heard. As far as I can tell, he overdubbed them at different frequencies like, a million times in order to make his voice sound stressfully demonic. He starts some songs with brooding organ pieces, most notably Utaka. The feel of this album is unbelievably dark, and almost insane.

Most of the drum programs Oshima uses are blast beats. They're tasteful, however. Thank God for that. Shitty blast beats can entirely ruin a song. That is, he only uses blast beats when necessary. Ghost In the Shell, The Abyss Stares Back at You, and The Embers of Reverie are the most prevalent tracks featuring blast beats, as they are the only ones with consistent heavy guitar. Most of the other tracks have instrumental piano discourses in order to further the plot of the story or to confuse the listener with strange, haunting singing.

I think the high point of this album is most definitely at the end. Utaka through Redemption are completely mind blowing. I don't mean to sound like a rabid fanboy, but these tracks are basically perfect. There wasn't much Oshima could have done to make them better. The best song on the album, in my opinion, would be The Wolfoid. It chronicles the wolf's transition from killing the girl's mother to impersonating her. I think the basic point behind Oshima's making of this album was to make a Little Red Riding Hood story that didn't have a happy ending; one that wasn't a fairy tale. As he explicitly states in The Wolfoid, "remember, only the hunter kills the wolf. But that's only in fairy tales...".

I love this album. Anybody that doesn't like shitty music would, also. Get it. Immediately.

9/10

2007-02-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

Ozzfest 2007...Free!

Guess what, Ozzy, I still don't want to go. That's right, you would have to pay me to go to Ozzfest. It's just that bad. Great work, Ozzy and Sharon, you fucked up everything.

Each year, this festival gets worse and worse. At this point, it's completely laughable. Every fan of any genre of metal knows this, and every self-respecting idiot is laughing hysterically at this desperate move on the part of the Osbournes. There is no merit to Ozzfest's name. Let's analyze why!

System of a Down. Disturbed. Hatebreed. Avenged Sevenfold. Atreyu. Unearth. Norma Jean. These are the bands that made up a large portion of Ozzfest 2006's star-studded lineup. Great bands, right? Fuck, if these bands were any worse, I'd kill myself. The only two bands I even remotely could think about enjoying last year were Dragonforce and Strapping Young Lad, and even those bands are a stretch at this point.

No, the Osbourne's aren't going to book better bands this year. Stop hoping for it. Sharon and her band of blathering retards threw eggs at the last good band to ever grace Ozzfest some two or so years ago. If I was dragged to a big, hot arena so I could hang out with a bunch of sweaty, shirtless retards hurling metal horns in the air every 5 minutes while listening to bands like Avenged Sevenfold, I'd bang my head against a wall until I couldn't see or hear anymore.

What the fuck happened to this festival? Judas Priest was on it. Iron Maiden was on it. Motorhead was on it. Now what the hell do we have? Disturbed? Where along the way did so many people lose touch? It almost seems like I'm the only one that feels this way. The decline of music festivals is a serious problem. With the inclusion of Bullet For My Valentine at Wacken, the destruction of a reputable festival is already taking root. In 5 years, Wacken will be co-headlined by Trivium and Korn. The trouble with this is that a lot of people wouldn't care.

The funny part about all of this is that it's blatantly obvious that the Osbournes know they've completely lost the metal community. They understand they fucked up and that Ozzfest is beyond salvation and they understand that nobody is going to pay to get raped in the ear for an entire day. So, when they came to this realization, they made it free for all the 13 year old boys and girls that adore Norma Jean. It's completely laughable that they made this festival free, because it shows that they understand just how bad it's become to a point where it's not worth paying for.

Anyway, I don't quite see why anyone would attend Ozzfest. Sure it's free, but so is stabbing yourself in the ear with an ice pick, and that's basically the same effect you get from going to Ozzfest. Thanks for the offer, Ozzy and Sharon, but I'll schedule a root canal that day, instead.

2007-02-01T13:45:00.000-08:00

Borknagar - Empiricism (2001)

Borknagar really doesn't need any introduction, but I will provide one anyway. They're a Norwegian folk/black metal band who have housed the greatest vocalists in metal. Over time, they've put out some really great albums that started out more core black metal but lately have switched over to a more folk inspired sound, releasing their newest album, Origin, this year. Origin is completely acoustic and extremely folky. I still need to listen to it, but that's neither here nor there.

Over the years, Borknagar has had some incredible lyricists and vocalists, such as Simen "ICS Vortex" Hestnæs, Kristoffer "Garm" Rygg, and Andreas "Vintersorg" Hedlund. Hedlund is also the singer for Vintersorg, a band that also kicks inhuman amounts of ass. So, all of these men seem to have uncanny abilities for singing in a manner that completely melts face and writing lyrics that blow everyone else out of the water. In fact, Colossus, off of Quintessence still holds the record for best lyrics ever in my book. Those lyrics and vocals were by ICS Vortex, though. Alot of speculation is made referring to the best vocalist that Borknagar has ever had. Personally, I'm a fan of Vintersorg, followed by ICS Vortex, followed by Garm. Anywho, Empiricism is fucking awesome, and I'm going to tell you why.

Go listen to Inherit The Earth or The Stellar Dome and tell me this album doesn't obliterate everything ever made. See, you wouldn't be able to. Or, you'd lie about it and your brain would detach itself from your brain stem in defiance while boiling alive from the injustice just vomited from your mouth. This album has some great instrumental parts. Take The Stellar Dome, for instance. They usually overlap clean guitar with distorted guitar for an extra effect while overlapping that even with keyboard, usually played in order to create background ambiance. While this is happening, Vintersorg is overdubbing harsh vocals with clean vocals. The effect is just awesome.

I guess I should explain the whole overdubbing of vocals. I suppose it's become a bit of a trend with Borknagar vocalists. Vortex did it, Vintersorg did it, and I'm going to be honest, I don't know if Garm did it, because I never really bothered with their earlier material. I'm still too busy losing my mind over how awesome Empiricism and Quintessence are, and I've had them for like, a year. It creates an interesting break from what you usually get from these types of bands. However, the vocals are sometimes used completely clean, like in the beginning of Inherit The Earth. Those few seconds are my favorite of the entire album. Vintersorg's vocals kick ass, seriously.

Now, this album still has its more straight up black metal roots. The Genuine Pulse is basically an onslaught of blast beats and tremolo picking at the beginning, with a very melodic keyboard line beside it. Standard black metal growls, also. However, when the chorus comes, clean vocals come back in and compliment the harsher ones. The exchange of vocal parts on this album are just so fucking great. It's really not the "uber tr00 and kvlt" type of black metal some people want to hear. There is melody, so if you're a fan of raw black metal, you wouldn't like this. On a side note, I'd like to comment on just how gay raw black metal is. I hate it like nobody's business. In order for me to like black metal, it has to be atmospheric or symphonic ala Emperor, Naglfar, and Vesperian Sorrow. I'd rather get herpes than listen to Burzum.

So, in conclusion, this album is great. I know it's not a new album, but I've basically listened to nothing but it for the past week.

2007-01-29T13:19:00.000-08:00

Read Dylan Miles' Crap

For the most part, I won't be reviewing or commenting on any death metal or grindcore. Don't fret. That's where this man comes in. If you're tired of reading my reviews pertaining to music whose primary subject matter is fanciful unicorns and glorious steel, head on over to Meat Grinder's Metal Emporium.

2007-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

Die Verbannten Kinder Evas - Dusk And Void Became Alive (2006)

I was introduced to this band about a week and a half ago. I was awe-stricken. I don't believe I've ever heard better music in this particular style. This band does not make metal. Die Verbannten Kinder Evas is Darkwave with heavy classical influence, as best as I can categorize them. It's very difficult for me to explain the genre of this band.

Die Verbannten Kinder Evas is Austrian, containing currently only two members, Christina Kroustali and Richard Lederer. The band was originally created in order to create a more toned-down alternative for two of the members of Summoning, an Austrian atmospheric black metal band.

All of this is really beside the fact that this album completely and utterly kills. There is no heavy guitar. The drums are used sparingly. They seemed to have abandoned their more overtly classical sound for a far more Gothic inspired form of Darkwave, which I think is brilliant. The music is very brooding and melancholic. This is music to think to, not to rock to.

Translated to English, Die Verbannten Kinder Evas means "The Exiled Children of Eve". Each song on this album is haunting and beautiful. Yes, I realize that made me sound like a fag. No, I don't care. I'm currently listening to Catharsis, an instrumental piano track that is absolutely mind blowing. It starts out slowly and gradually gains momentum. It's extremely hard to take this song and put it to words. It is, without a doubt, the greatest culminating track on any album I have ever heard.

This album is basically perfect. When there are vocals, they're done tastefully. Mostly operatic, Kroustali and Lederer make fantastic vocal trade offs that fit songs perfectly. I think the broad range of Kroustali's vocals are really tested in the song Winter's Night. This song also happens to be my favorite song of the album. The drums used are simple and repetitive, making the song seem as though it were the theme to the beginnings to a battle scene. It's a song that's very synthy. If you're not a fan of synthesizers, stop reading this and listen to Cock and Ball Torture instead.

Overall, if I wasn't so lazy, I'd probably go back and add this album to my top 10 albums of '06 as either #1 or #2. It's simply stunning, and I recommend it to anyone that wants something to sit down to that actually makes them think.

2007-01-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

Eluveitie Interview

This is a very brief interview I had with Chrigel Glanzmann, frontman of the recently created Swiss folk metal band Eluveitie. Here's a brief overview of the band for anyone that hasn't heard them.

Eluveitie formed in 2002 in Switzerland. They're folk metal, which means much of their music is influenced by Celtic folk music, and they make great use of these influences. Eluveitie's sound is created through the use of bagpipes, flutes, whistles, mandola, hurdygurdy, violin, gaita, and the other instruments synonymous with metal. Their debut album, Spirit, was released in 2006 and should have been in my top 10 list, as it destroyed. So, here it is.

-First of all, I want to thank you for the opportunity for this interview and I want to start off by talking about your first album. Spirit represents the new wave of folk metal. How did the basic idea for Eluveitie come about? What are your largest influences, metal and otherwise?

Chrigel: Hard to say. The idea is actually very old. I had it in mind almost 15 years ago. I guess it comes from intensely enjoying and listening to both – folk music and metal. So, both kinds of music are influencual the same way.

-Eluveitie utilizes perhaps the largest range of musical instruments of any band in metal today, from the fiddle to the hurdygurdy to the irish flute. How did this come to be, this idea for a folk metal band with such a broad range of instrumentation?

Chrigel: I just love all those instruments, haha. When I founded Eluveitie, it was really clear from the very beginning, that none if them should miss. Furthermore it surely comes from the customs in Celtic folk music itself. Me, but also other members of the band, also play in pure folk music bands besides Eluveitie. There it’s very usual to follow a ancient melody or whatever with a pretty broad range of instruments. For example: The combination of fiddle, bagpipe (Uilleann Pipes) and Tin Whistle – to build the “melody register”, accompanied by guitar/mandola, ect. - is actually very traditional and usual in Celtic folk music.

-How do you think metal has progressed over the years from more simplistically styled bands like Black Sabbath to today's complex and innovative bands like yourselves and bands of the like?

Chrigel: Personally I think it’s not predominantly the “complexity” that grew, but more the “proficiency”. Or better said, the musical standard has grown. This is in my opinion a very natural development for any new kind of music (metal exits for some decades now, so it’s actually a very young music style). Classical music like we know it today (Beethooven for example) can be pretty complex and elaborated. But it actually arose from kinda folk music. If you check out early “classical music”, baroque music, then you realise that it’s still much more “folkier” and more “primitive” than the stuff that was composed 100 years later. And the same happens with metal music as well. This is normal. 30 years ago, it was okay for a metal song to just shred two or three simple powercords down the fingerboard of your guitar. It was enough, for it was something new – it was loud, strong and the sound of a distorted guitar was still unknown then. But the human ear develops easily and the demands grow quickly. If you compare young newcomer-bands of today and such in 1980, the differences of the playing abilities and the virtuosity in terms of composing, ect. are immense. But this is just a natural “evolution” I think.

-The melodic aspects of your music, most notably in songs like The Song of Life and Your Gaulish War, definitely are stemmed from your incorporation of more unconventional instruments. How do you decide which instrument to use in different songs? Also, I'm curious, what instrument was exactly used for
the melody in both of those songs?

Chrigel: Can’t really explain how this is decided. It just “happens”. Sometimes a whistle just simply “matches” the best for a leading melody and sometimes it’s rather the fiddle that fits the best. And so on. In both of the songs you mentioned, there is a leading folk melody, which is played synchronically (with one octave in beween of course) by a Tin Whistle and a Low Whistle (or an Irish wooden flute). In both parts, the Whistles are “accompanied" by a pretty simply and “earthy” melodyline played on the fiddle.

-How do you write your music? Are the guitar tracks laid down first with the string sections added in later or is there a certain method you use?

Chrigel: Can’t exactly say this. It’s really different from song to song. Sometimes a guitar riff comes to mind, sometimes it’s a folk melody first. Ofthen the writing process for a song begins with a folk tune or theme, yes. But this is not the rule. And there’s no “certain method” used. Probably expect the emotional aspect. Long before a song is actually finished, I have a clear idea, of what it should sound like in the end… of what it should express, of what emotions it should rouse.

-What direction do you think folk metal is taking for the future, in these ever changing times?

Chrigel: Well, time will show. “Folk Metal” is a relatively new genre and until now it was for some years really underground stuff. Now (and I guess in the next few years) it might become more common (and for sure also more commercial). Here we have a probably pretty haughty goal and idea for Eluveitie. If you take black metal for example. Back in 1994 black metal was really “undergroundy”…it was almost kinda elitist or so. At that time the band Dimmu Borgir started as a usual black metal band. They developed a lot though. They don’t have much in common with what was called “black metal” 15 years ago. Therefore they’re hated by many disappointed “old-school” fans, yes. BUT: On the other hand the gained access to black metal for a broad audience! Bands like Dimmu Borgir made black metal presentable! And this is the same what is probably going on with Eluveitie. Folk/Pagan/Viking/Whatever metal is very “raw” since it’s beginning and it’s kinda “reserved” for a small scene, for some “freaks”. With bands like Eluveitie folk metal becomes a bit more “smoothed” (not = softer! ;)) and becomes more presentable.

-People have taken to your album with fantastic interest. Eluveitie is a breath of fresh air in a music scene that seems to be slowly stagnating. Do you think you may have paved the way for future bands in terms of incorporation of more obscure instruments?

Chrigel: Haha, “obscure instruments”! ;))) Well, yes I think (and hope!) so. Firstly because of what I mentioned above in the last answer. I hope, but I also believe that there will be a couple of bands/musicians that will follow that way of “opening” folk metal for a wider audience. Secondly because we showed, that it’s possible. Even only four years ago, here in Europe most “folk” metal bands just used keyboards for their folk parts. Now that is about to really change! Bevore Eluveitie, there never was (as far as I know, at least) a Metal band using a hurdy-gurdy for example. One just couldn’t really figure out and imagine how this would sound and if it would work at all. Now we all see that it works and that it can sound cool. And so I hope there will be other metal bands using hurdy-gurdys… and most of all I hope that there will be bands using many other, not yet common instruments! What I would really wish, for example, are (north and south) American bands, that begin to explore the roots, the musical roots and customs of their original inhabitants. Sepultura/Soulfly have partly done this. Imagine how cool this ic and instruments… and if there would grow kinda “Centralamerican folk metal” or something out of it, haha! This would be really fascinating!

I left his responses complete as they were sent to me because I'm not going to be a grammar Nazi. I'm also sure Chrigel's alot better at speaking English than I am at speaking German. I thought this was a pretty cool experience, so I'll probably do it with other bands in the future. Everyone needs to go listen to Eluveitie's album because it kicks powerful ass and also because they're some awesome dudes for letting me interview them.

2007-01-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

Mastodon: Most boring band ever?

So, what the fuck is with Mastodon? Am I the only person that doesn't get it? Please tell me this isn't true. The old people are pleased with their eclectic sound and the young, women's pants wearing teens are happy with their easy marketability and lame faux-hawk wearing front man. But what's the big deal? What's the catch? I listened to Leviathan, I listened to Blood Mountain. I tell you, they are huge heaping piles of mediocrity.

Each song I've had the misfortune of hearing has followed a simplistic structure that they basically repeat throughout the agonizing whole of it. Blood And Thunder very well could be the most repetitive, stupidly arranged piece of music I've ever heard. It's not completely horrible, it's just not worth the sinful amounts of praise it gets from seemingly every person that's a fan of heavy music. Everywhere I look, people lose their minds if I say I'm not down with Mastodon. Most of their music is just..well..it's just there. There is nothing remarkable about it.

As far as I'm concerned, this band is another phase. They're not revolutionizing the genre, like everyone seems to think they are. I'm sure whoever's reading this, namely nobody, is thinking that Blood Mountain is a step ahead in technicality. And, they'd be right. It's a more technical album, but it screams "We're trying to sound better at our instruments than we really are". People also seem to think Mastodon is progressive metal. These people are wrong. These people need to be hanged. These people need to be beaten to death with a giant phallus. Blood Mountain is a step in the right direction, I'll admit. But it still sounds painfully average to me.

So, stop fellating Mastodon, everyone. It makes you look stupid.

2007-01-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

My Belated Top 10 of 2006!

So, here it is, my top 10 of 2006, while it's a bit late. That doesn't change its awesome pertinence.

10. Vanden Plas - Christ 0

I stumbled upon this album several months ago on a download website. I was completely taken aback. Vanden Plas is a German progressive metal band formed in the mid-1980s. On a suggestion that it was very much like Adagio, and band I am very fond of, I took to it. Its title track, Christ 0, is splendid progressive metal. The entire album is just very well structured. I became an instant fan and Christ 0 gained a spot in my Top Ten of 2006.

9. Unexpect - In A Flesh Aquarium

Unexpect is a Canad ian band whose genre can only be described as something along the lines of avant-garde extreme metal. Their style is extremely unstructured and hectic. Utilizing violin, heavy guitar, piano, and vocals both female and male, this band is a force to be reckoned with. While In A Flesh Aquarium is not their only album, I believe it to be their most impressive. It may be the most impromptu, strange music I've ever heard, save Stalaggh. This, however, is a good thing. Fantastic album.

8. Estradasphere - Palace of Mirrors

Estradasphere is an American experimental / avant-garde band whose sound can't really be described within the true realms of metal. Much of this album doesn't contain much distorted guitar at all, but rather a great deal of symphonic and elegant instrumentals, most notably the song Palace of Mirrors. Another one of my favorite songs on the album, Flower Garden of an Evil Man, is quite brooding to start with, but develops into a very complex song. The entire album is a masterpiece and I find it to be great thinking music.

7. Outworld - Outworld

Outworld is an American progressive metal band formed by Rusty Cooley. If you don't know who Rusty Cooley is, he is the king of wank; the sultan of unnecessarily technical solo guitar. His solo shred album may be the single most technical album ever, aside from MAB's No Boundaries. The trouble with Rusty is that he can't make good bands. Book of Reflections was, in my opinion, a pile of steaming crap. Outworld did something right, though. This album managed to be heavy and still utilize Rusty's sinfully fast fretwork, all whilst maintaining a tasteful sound. The singer for Outworld is also top notch. Solid, solid album.

6. Diablo Swing Orchestra - The Butcher's Ballroom

One of the most unique albums I've ever heard. Diablo Swing Orchestra is a Swedish avant-garde metal band who utilizes operatic female vocals heavily in their music. Their songs are delightfully unstructured and in many cases feature the violin. On top of this, most notably in the song Poetic Pitbull Revolutions, the trumpet is used. This album is one of the most innovative things I've ever heard. I recommend it to anyone with an open mind who's looking for something new.

5. Aghora - Formless

I already sang the praises of this album in my previous entry. This album is genius. I still haven't stopped listening to it. Again, Aghora is American progressive metal with female vocals. The vocals aren't quite like Diablo Swing Orchestra's, however. They're far less operatic and "manageable" than DSO. This album is very well rounded. They cover the progressive aspects of the music very well while not overdoing it at all. Well done.

4. Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death

Iron Maiden is a band that needs absolutely no introduction. But, for those that don't know, which is basically nobody, Iron Maiden is a British NWOBHM band that happen to be the most influential band in the history of recorded metal, save maybe Black Sabbath. This is their latest album, and I'll be the first to say it's something that needs to grow on you. Met with much dissent, A Matter of Life and Death, followed their new trend of epic metal. The band played the album in its entirety in their 2006 US tour, which I was lucky enough to attend. Iron Maiden's new album is a misunderstood masterpiece that deserves all the praise it gets.

3. Manticora - The Black Circus, Part 1: Letters

Manticora is a progressive / power metal band from Denmark. They're also the gayest looking people on the planet. Who would have known they could produce such blindingly awesome music? There are alot of prog/power acts lately, but these guys stand out. Fantastic guitar work, accompanied by stellar drum speed, and extreme vocals. I find myself listening to this album over and over again on several occasions. It's one of those albums you can listen to all the way through without hesitation.

2. Persuader - When Eden Burns

Persuader is a Swedish power / thrash metal band formed in the late 90s. This is one of the best power metal bands ever, without any contest at all. Nearly every song on each of their three albums is flawless. The vocals are not what one would call standard PM vocals. Jens Carlsson has some of the most unique vocals in metal and he makes great use of them on this album. It was extremely difficult for me to pick between this album and my first pick.

1. Blind Guardian - A Twist in the Myth

Blind Guardian is a German power metal band formed in the mid-1980s. They are the fathers of power metal; what every PM band strives to be. Fuck Helloween, Blind Guardian is the be all and end all of the genre. They are untouchable in their sound and style. A Twist in the Myth may be one of their finest releases. Every single song on the album is perfect. Hansi Kürsch continues to have the greatest voice in metal, creating, again, the most unique and powerful vocal harmonies I've ever heard. This album is also the first to feature Frederik Ehmke on drums. He seems to be a fine, fine fit. I had the privilege of seeing this band live in New York City in November. They played their new songs flawlessly. A Twist In The Myth is my top pick for albums of 2006.

Honorable Mention:
-Solitude Aeturnus - Alone
-Buckethead - The Elephant Man's Alarm Clock
-Canvas Solaris - Penumbra Diffuse
-Communic - Waves of Visual Decay
-Cloudscape - Crimson Skies
-Zero Hour - Specs of Pictures Burnt Beyond
-Twisted Into Form - Then Comes Affliction To Awaken The Dreamer
-Andromeda - Chimera

There you have it. I realize it's a bit late, but I wanted to completely make my mind up.

2007-01-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

Aghora - Formless (2006)

Released sometime in 2006, Aghora's newest album entitled Formless came completely out of left field. I thought I had already decided on my album of the year for 2006, but now I have to seriously reconsider. This album has not left Windows Media Player for the past week and a half, and I'll explain why.

Aghora is an American progressive metal band that conspicuously lacks keyboards. Initially, that might put some people off because they can't get into anything that's not completely muddled with symphonic wankery. On a side note, symphonic prog/power metal is getting on my nerves. We seriously don't need another Time Requiem. These bands need to get more creative.

Another thing that might turn away some of Aghora's listeners is the fact that they're fronted by a woman. Yes, a woman. In metal. If you're a fan of death metal, you might want to stop reading now, because you're likely to become infuriated by this concept. Now, women aren't all that uncommon in metal nowadays. Hell, Ayreon's been doing it for quite some time and there are hundreds of gothic metal bands that are female fronted. However, there are very few straight up progressive metal bands with females on vocals. That's where Aghora takes over.

This album isn't Spastic Ink. It's not going to blow your mind with technicality and it's not going to make you feel bad about your musical proficiency. It's sensible prog, and it's brilliant. Each track on Formless is a masterpiece in itself. I can't stress just how much I love this album. One of the more popular songs on the album, 'Atmas Heave', starts out extremely energetically after the rather simple and short 'Lotus'.

What follows is complete genius. Nearly every song on this album is flawless, with my favorite probably being 'Garuda' because of its extremely shred-influenced sound. Now, that will probably change within the coming days, as this album will get increasingly more listens. All I can say at this point is that I need more of this band's material. Immediately.

2006-11-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

Here's what this blog is. I am not going to fuck around with female jeans wearing Hot Topic urchin music here. For the most part, I'm creating this blog for my own enjoyment and for the enjoyment of whoever wants to read it, even if that is nobody at all. I want this to be a source of information for all those that seek it. I want this to be a place for fans of progressive, power, symphonic, avant-garde, and thrash metal to come and educate themselves on what I know.

Now, I don't claim to be the end of all knowledge on the aforementioned subgenres of metal, but I do like to think I have a somewhat advanced knowledge of them. Take what you read here with a grain of salt. I will try to be unbiased in my reviews to the best of my ability, as it is not my goal to senselessly fellate bands that I think are great. After this blog gets going, it should be clear the kind of music I listen to, but I want whoever reads this to get a feel for it themselves.

I'll probably start this blog with a review of Arcturus' "The Sham Mirrors", as it is getting alot of play from me lately. So, stay tuned for that.

And here's a way to see what I'm listening to!

 

Technology ftw!