What the fuck? 2 Parter of Justice

So I decided this would be a good time to discuss my confusion and frustration regarding a few bands. Well, two bands in particular. Now, don't get me wrong here. I'm not insinuating that there are only two bands that have fucked up something great. There's a slew of them. Namely Arcturus, Metallica, Infected Malignity, and Dream Theater. But, two bands have released two very disturbingly bad albums in the last year or so. So, I ask, what the fuck, Rhapsody and David Valdes? What the fuck.

Rhapsody (of Fire?) - Triumph or Agony (2006)

Agony, Luca, agony. This album sucks. So, when they changed their name I didn't think too much of it. I trusted them as musicians to not fuck up their sound along with it. Although, I still refuse to actually refer to the as Rhapsody of Fire, because people that call them that are gay. I think when the band made this album, they were literally asking themselves whether or not they'd be triumphant or put their fans in a state of agony. Because, seriously, this album is terrible.

There's nothing to this album. Like, I can listen to it, but why do it? There's no reason to. The choruses aren't epic, the keyboards are just sorta there. Luca's voice seems to have completely lost its umph. Even the solos are poorly executed. What used to be super powerful is now a little line of "my first guitar" wank.

Overall, it just feels like this album got thrown together. Looks like they were sitting there, all emasculated with their new name, and decided to slap something together as fast as they could and pass it off as a Rhapsody album. Well, this isn't a Rhapsody album. This is a Rhapsody of Fire album, and it clearly shows. Maybe someday, after a billion listens, I can come to find something positive to say about this album, but the probability is highly unlikely when I have Symphony of Enchanted Lands just sitting here being all not shitty and whatnot.

3/10


David Valdes - Imhotep (2007)

If you've been reading this blog, which you haven't, you'd remember from a month back or so when I went nuts over this man's first album. Well, David's back. Only this time, he's got a swanky album cover and no creativity.

This album yells to the listener "I ran out of ideas!". There's very little shred on this album at all, and when there is, it's lame and played out. Whenever he's doing something, it's something he did on Paradise Lost. At least on that album, his ideas were fresh and catchy. This is just more thoughtless wank.

Now, look, I am a fan of thoughtless wank. This album isn't terrible, it's just not what I would have expected from David. You'd think that in 6 years he'd have some time to think up stuff that doesn't suck. I mean, Christ, Buckethead comes out with a new album every 3 months and they all rock hard. This is very, very bland neo-classical shred. There's too much stress on riffage that can't hold its own without solos. The only person that can pull of riffage in shred is Chris Impellitteri, as far as I'm concerned. If you want to make shred, please shred.

There are some tracks that are pretty killer on this album, I'm really not going to lie. Lake of Silence is pretty cool. But, still, this album is abundantly weak. It has to do mostly with my high hopes that were smashed by mediocrity. Oh well.

4.5/10