Devin Townsend - Ziltoid The Omniscient (2007)

I've never gone on record as being the biggest fan of anything Devin Townsend's really done outside of his guest appearance on Ayreon's The Human Equation. Strapping Young Lad is fun for like, three minutes while I'm driving around really fast. I do, however, quite like Terria. Anyway, this album is quite different, yet similar to his other works. I love the subject matter he's chosen here. The album cover is also fucking awesome. Not to mention, the music is pretty radical.

This album is a concept album, so I guess I'll outline the story it follows. Ziltoid the Omniscient and his brutal race of Ziltoidians travel from a distant omniverse to our universe to demand Earth's ultimate cup of black coffee. When presented with said coffee, Ziltoid is enraged at its fetid nature and proclaims that the Earthlings are hiding their most fantastic bean. In response to this insult, Ziltoid launches a full-scale Ziltoidian assault on Earth. With their futuristic space-man might, the Ziltoidians easily conquer the planet and Ziltoid is hailed the ultimate fourth dimensional guitar hero.

However, Captain Spectacular plans to rain on Ziltoid's parade by exposing him for what he truly is; a nerd. In front of the surviving humans, Captain Spectacular gives his good word that Ziltoid must pay. Upon hearing of Captain Spectacular and the remaining humans' plans to go to the benevolent Nebulo 9, he follows them closely on his radar. Shortly after, Captain Spectacular jumps to hyperdrive, to which Ziltoid responds angrily with "Phooey!".

Captain Spectacular and his intrepid crew arrive at Nebulo 9, but are ambushed by Ziltoid in a surprise attack. A great battle ensues and Ziltoid is defeated. At the end, he exclaims furiously that "You have not seen the last of Ziltoid!". Defeated and ashamed, Ziltoid feels it's time to have a little fun and destroy a planet. He diverts all the power to his ship's front guns and attempts to summon the sixth dimensional planet smasher. The awakened planet smasher is infuriated by Ziltoid's request and the people of the selected planet plead helplessly with Ziltoid.

Ziltoid is ultimately rejected by the planet smasher. Afterward, he seeks the council of the omnidimensional creator. When the omnidimensional creator asks Ziltoid what's on his mind, he responds "modular forms and elliptic curves, infinite fire revolving around infinite parallels, fractals of infinite reality, each cascading and gliding in an infinite wheel". He then demands that the omnidimensional creator tell him the true nature of his reality. The omnidimensional creator tells Ziltoid to chill out.

So, Ziltoid does chill out. He decides he doesn't really want to destroy the Earth. He just wants to play guitar and get chicks. So, he does. I think.

That's what I gathered. I think it's pretty accurate up until the last parts. Anyway, if that story isn't gonna make you listen to this album, then you probably lack the proper gland for sensing awesome shit. Aside from that fucking great story line, the music is damned entertaining, too.

It's fun stuff. It's not really complicated or overtly fancy. It's just really, really fun. I love listening to this album and so should you. I don't think it's out for a while, but when it is, I will totally buy it.

8/10