Ozzfest 2007...Free!

Guess what, Ozzy, I still don't want to go. That's right, you would have to pay me to go to Ozzfest. It's just that bad. Great work, Ozzy and Sharon, you fucked up everything.

Each year, this festival gets worse and worse. At this point, it's completely laughable. Every fan of any genre of metal knows this, and every self-respecting idiot is laughing hysterically at this desperate move on the part of the Osbournes. There is no merit to Ozzfest's name. Let's analyze why!

System of a Down. Disturbed. Hatebreed. Avenged Sevenfold. Atreyu. Unearth. Norma Jean. These are the bands that made up a large portion of Ozzfest 2006's star-studded lineup. Great bands, right? Fuck, if these bands were any worse, I'd kill myself. The only two bands I even remotely could think about enjoying last year were Dragonforce and Strapping Young Lad, and even those bands are a stretch at this point.

No, the Osbourne's aren't going to book better bands this year. Stop hoping for it. Sharon and her band of blathering retards threw eggs at the last good band to ever grace Ozzfest some two or so years ago. If I was dragged to a big, hot arena so I could hang out with a bunch of sweaty, shirtless retards hurling metal horns in the air every 5 minutes while listening to bands like Avenged Sevenfold, I'd bang my head against a wall until I couldn't see or hear anymore.

What the fuck happened to this festival? Judas Priest was on it. Iron Maiden was on it. Motorhead was on it. Now what the hell do we have? Disturbed? Where along the way did so many people lose touch? It almost seems like I'm the only one that feels this way. The decline of music festivals is a serious problem. With the inclusion of Bullet For My Valentine at Wacken, the destruction of a reputable festival is already taking root. In 5 years, Wacken will be co-headlined by Trivium and Korn. The trouble with this is that a lot of people wouldn't care.

The funny part about all of this is that it's blatantly obvious that the Osbournes know they've completely lost the metal community. They understand they fucked up and that Ozzfest is beyond salvation and they understand that nobody is going to pay to get raped in the ear for an entire day. So, when they came to this realization, they made it free for all the 13 year old boys and girls that adore Norma Jean. It's completely laughable that they made this festival free, because it shows that they understand just how bad it's become to a point where it's not worth paying for.

Anyway, I don't quite see why anyone would attend Ozzfest. Sure it's free, but so is stabbing yourself in the ear with an ice pick, and that's basically the same effect you get from going to Ozzfest. Thanks for the offer, Ozzy and Sharon, but I'll schedule a root canal that day, instead.