Mastodon: Most boring band ever?

So, what the fuck is with Mastodon? Am I the only person that doesn't get it? Please tell me this isn't true. The old people are pleased with their eclectic sound and the young, women's pants wearing teens are happy with their easy marketability and lame faux-hawk wearing front man. But what's the big deal? What's the catch? I listened to Leviathan, I listened to Blood Mountain. I tell you, they are huge heaping piles of mediocrity.

Each song I've had the misfortune of hearing has followed a simplistic structure that they basically repeat throughout the agonizing whole of it. Blood And Thunder very well could be the most repetitive, stupidly arranged piece of music I've ever heard. It's not completely horrible, it's just not worth the sinful amounts of praise it gets from seemingly every person that's a fan of heavy music. Everywhere I look, people lose their minds if I say I'm not down with Mastodon. Most of their music is just..well..it's just there. There is nothing remarkable about it.

As far as I'm concerned, this band is another phase. They're not revolutionizing the genre, like everyone seems to think they are. I'm sure whoever's reading this, namely nobody, is thinking that Blood Mountain is a step ahead in technicality. And, they'd be right. It's a more technical album, but it screams "We're trying to sound better at our instruments than we really are". People also seem to think Mastodon is progressive metal. These people are wrong. These people need to be hanged. These people need to be beaten to death with a giant phallus. Blood Mountain is a step in the right direction, I'll admit. But it still sounds painfully average to me.

So, stop fellating Mastodon, everyone. It makes you look stupid.